Youth
Sexual consent is when people agree to engage in certain sexual behaviors. They can express their consent by saying, “Yes, that’s okay with me.” Just because someone doesn’t say “no,” it doesn’t mean consent has been given. Asking for consent and giving consent for any sexual behavior is required. You have the right to say “no” to any behavior that you do not want to engage in at any point, for any reason, and your partner must respect your decision. Your partner also has the right to say “no” to any behavior at any point, for any reason, and you must respect their decision. Consent must be given willingly. If a person is forced or pressured to consent to any type of behavior, that’s not consent. Consenting to a certain behavior at one point does not mean that a person automatically consents to that same behavior the next time they see their partner. Consent must be given each time you engage in a sexual behavior with someone. If you are ever unsure whether a person is consenting, ask them.
In order for people to consent to sexual behaviors, they must be able to consent, which means they are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol and are at an age at which the law says they can consent. Each state in the U.S. has a different age at which a person can consent to sexual behaviors. The age of consent is between 16 and 18 years old, depending on which state you live in. If a person at or over the age of consent engages in sexual behaviors with a person under the age of consent, this would be considered statutory rape, regardless of the gender of the two people or whether the younger person agreed to the behaviors. Some states have what are called “Romeo and Juliet laws,” which do not consider sexual behavior between two young people who are close in age statutory rape. Age-of-consent laws are not meant to punish young people, but to protect them from adults who might hurt or take advantage of them. It’s a good idea to get familiar with the laws in your state.
A young person who is under the age of consent should also seek the support of trusted adults or health care professionals at a health center if they need a pregnancy or STD test. Many states allow young people—including those who are minors—to get contraception or STD testing without parental consent. You can call a health center to find out if they provide confidential and free services for young people.
FAQs
It can definitely be confusing to know when you can and can’t kiss someone you like. The only way to know for sure if you can kiss your partner or engage in any sexual behaviors with them is to ask them each and every time. This is called getting their consent. It is very common to think that your partner may be into kissing or another sexual behavior by the way they are acting, but just because someone is acting a certain way, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to engage in a behavior.
Just because a person consents to kissing, it doesn’t mean that they are consenting to all sexual behaviors. It may seem like they want to go further or engage in other behaviors, but the only way to know for sure is to ask for consent. It is important to communicate with your partner about what behaviors they want to engage in each and every time.
It can be confusing if someone is saying “yes” to sexual behaviors when they have been drinking or using drugs. The one thing to remember is that since these substances can interfere with people’s ability to make a decision, they are not able to consent, even if they are saying “yes.” So if someone engages in sexual behaviors with someone who has been drinking or using drugs, this is considered sexual assault—even if they asked for consent first.